Why Adopt? Why Not Adopt?

Arriving at the decision to adopt has been the culmination of many different experiences, conversations, and impressions dating all the way back to the early years of our marriage (12+ amazing years), and even extending into our individual lives before marriage. Over the years we’ve been married, there have been times when we’ve made passive statements about adoption reflecting some interest on our parts. For instance, when we first started to have children the thought of adoption would occasionally come up when considering possibilities for having a family, and after having our first few children (who were all boys) the thought would come up as a potential option for having a daughter. Over the last few years, we’ve come to know several close family friends who have been through the adoptive process and it’s led to some great conversation and further interest. I would say it’s been through some of these more recent interactions that the impressions began to stir much more strongly within that this was an avenue we should really give some consideration. Part of that feeling was fueled by an interest in the prospect of international adoption, and a realization that there are children out there in the poorest of conditions, who are far less fortunate, and ultimately who deserve so much more.

The more and more that we’ve thought about adoption, the more and more we’ve just naturally gravitated towards Ethiopia. There’s something about the country and the people that has really struck a chord with us and pulled on our heartstrings. And it’s not just one particular thing or reason. We’ve read the stats and understand the dire situations there; we’ve watched the videos and read stories and have had our hearts moved; we’ve talked with others and have gained further insight and appreciation for Ethiopian adoption. But it’s also other things—our 10-year old son, Gavin, has always had a natural affinity towards individuals from other cultures and backgrounds; it’s an attribute that is inherent in him, and this is characteristic that both of us have shared too from early childhood (reflected in the friends we made and hung out with growing up). One of the things I remember vividly from my 5th grade class was a long paper I wrote on Ethiopia—its history, its people, and its many challenges.

About two years ago, following a dinner with some close friends who had adopted from China, we had our first long and serious conversation about the prospect of adoption and whether it was something we would really consider pursuing and if we could. While the interest and desire was there, I think the thought of the process and what it would entail as far as work, time, and resources was just so daunting that we didn’t move any further. Now two years later, we’ve found ourselves in a better position than ever and it’s really moved our consideration to the next level. And now it’s not so much a question of why should we, as much as it is a question of why shouldn’t we?

Over the last few months, we’ve done a tremendous amount of research online, through talking to people, through seminars/fairs to help prepare ourselves sufficiently to make a huge decision like this, and then we’ve relied on our faith and prayer, and the support of friends and family to confirm our direction. So now we find ourselves at this moment in time, where we’re convinced that there are more children just waiting to be a part of our family and we want to earnestly begin the journey to find them.