Making a Difference: One Starfish at a Time

More than anything else so far, throughout this process we've encountered the question "Why?" Whether it's been from friends, co-workers, family, or even ourselves. As our hearts turn more and more towards Africa and particularly Ethiopia, I'm continually reminded of the story of the Star Thrower.

I awoke early, as I often did, just before sunrise to walk by the ocean's edge and greet the new day. As I moved through the misty dawn, I focused on a faint, faraway movement. I saw a boy, bending and reaching and waving his arms – dancing on the beach, no doubt in celebration of the perfect day soon to begin.

As I approached, I sadly realized that he was not dancing, but rather bending to sift through the debris left by the night's tide, stopping now and then to pick up a starfish and then standing, to heave it back into the sea. I asked the boy the purpose of the effort. "The tide has washed the starfish onto the beach and they cannot return to the sea by themselves," he replied. ‘When the sun rises, they will die, unless I throw them back to the sea.’

I looked at the vast expanse of beach, stretching in both directions. Starfish littered the shore in numbers beyond calculation. The hopelessness of the boy's plan became clear to me and I pointed out, ‘But there are more starfish on this beach than you can ever save before the sun is up. Surely you cannot expect to make a difference.’

He paused briefly to consider my words, bent to pick up a starfish and threw it as far as possible. Turning to me he simply said, "I made a difference to that one."

I share a birthday with Helen Keller, and I've always been fond of something she said: “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”

I've always been bullish by the notion of the power of one....how hands can touch hands and touch hands...how even the smallest act, even a drop of a pebble, can start a ripple effect that heaves beyond its boundaries. For many of us, we may think it's SO overwhelming, there's beaches littered with starfish that we can't get to or make a difference for.

People talk about adoption as inspiring and noble, to which we're extremely flattered and definitely don't feel deserving of that label. What I've always liked about this story and you don't often see it told in the tale, but the next day, the older man returns back to beach and joins the star thrower. He says, "I understand. Call me another thrower."

I love it...there exists in each of us, the capacity to move from observer to actor. To actually change the natural order of things through simple actions. For us, adoption is but one avenue...yet, we know there are two boys just waiting for us to make a difference.